“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: it’s got to be the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.” “I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.”
― Andrew Boyd, Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe
The quote by Andrew Boyd highlights an humbling perspective on relationships and on finding the right/wrong person. It there a single “right” person for everyone? Or, rather, are individuals drawn to partners who at best complement their own imperfections and complexities; or at worse, make their imperfections less painful? This idea is important because none of us are perfect – the opposite it true!
As people go through life and experience various relationships, they come to understand themselves better and recognize their own flaws and challenges. They may also seek out partners who have their own imperfections that somehow fit or complement their own. It’s a recognition that perfection is not the goal in a relationship, but rather finding someone whose imperfections align with yours in a way that makes the relationship meaningful and fulfilling.
The concept of finding the “right wrong person” implies that a successful and lasting relationship is built on acceptance and understanding of each other’s flaws and imperfections. Indeed, that’s the genius of viewing relationships in this manner. It’s about embracing the uniqueness of the other person, flaws and all, and finding a sense of compatibility and love in that imperfection.
Ultimately, true compatibility in a relationship may not be about finding someone who is perfect, but rather finding someone whose imperfections are a perfect match for your own. You become better together. Happier together. Whole, together.
Faith for Flourishing 
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