Faith for Flourishing

As children grow up, it’s common for us parents to worry about our child (or children) becoming more distant. We fear losing the closeness we once shared as they form their own identities.

While some emotional distance is normal, there are extreme examples of this kind of challenge. Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder where children have trouble speaking in certain social settings, though they can communicate fine at home. At school, or other stressful environments, they may appear withdrawn, mumble, or refuse to speak at all. This silence can stem from social anxiety, trauma, or speech delays.

For parents, the emotional withdrawal of a child is troubling. We want our children to share their inner world with us. When our kids won’t speak their minds, we feel left out of their lives. Honestly, as children grow into their teen years, it can seem as if the child is purposefully growing distant, hiding their thoughts, dreams and struggles from us.

If you have a child emotionally distancing, here are some tips:

• Let your child know you are there if they want to talk, but don’t pressure speech.
• Use nonverbal cues and gentle encouragement to keep communication open.
• Convey unconditional love. Your relationship provides constancy amid the changes.
• Focus on listening more than lecturing. Provide a safe space for them to share.
• Have patience. Your child is learning to navigate the world in their own way.
• Talk to your child’s teacher for insight. But respect the child’s privacy.
• Work on building trust through shared activities at home that your child enjoys.
• Getting professional help is always an option.

With empathy and care, you can reconnect with a distancing child. Respecting their journey while reassuring your support reminds them you’ll always be their listening ear. Even when they won’t talk, your love speaks volumes.