Faith for Flourishing

Spanking children is a controversial topic. Where you stand on this topic is probably determined by how you were raised. I was spanked vigorously as a child. I was not abused in any way. Let’s review argument for and against spanking:

Argument For Spanking

• Immediate Behavioral Correction: Spanking is seen by some as a quick, effective way to immediately correct inappropriate behavior. It often leads to instant understanding that a specific action is not acceptable.

• Traditional Discipline Methods: Spanking has been used as a discipline method for generations. Proponents argue that they were spanked as children and grew up to be well-adjusted, disciplined adults, indicating that the method can be effective.

• Boundaries and Rules: Spanking can serve as a tool to enforce rules and establish boundaries. It communicates in a direct way that certain behaviors will not be tolerated.

• Lack of Alternatives: Some parents may feel overwhelmed by continuous disobedience and perceive spanking as their only remaining method of instilling discipline.

Argument Against Spanking

• Psychological Harm: Numerous studies suggest that spanking can lead to long-term mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, and other behavioral problems. This is due to the traumatic experiences that physical punishment can create.

• Aggression and Violence: Spanking may inadvertently teach children that violence is an acceptable way to solve problems or exert control. Children who are spanked may be more likely to resort to violence or aggression as a means of communication.

• Ineffectiveness: Research shows that spanking may not be effective in the long run. Children may behave out of fear of punishment, not because they understand the difference between right and wrong.

• Breakdown in Communication: Spanking can damage the trust and communication between parent and child. It may cause the child to fear the parent instead of respecting them.

We could run this argument round and round. But I prefer to sum it up like this: Spanking is form of punishment. You can raise a child without spanking but you cannot raise a child without some form of punishment. There are numerous alternatives that can be effective, such as timeouts, removal of privileges, or other consequences. These methods, when carefully matched to the unique personality and context of the child and parent, are usually effective at teaching a child why their behavior was wrong and how to make better choices in the future. But if our children do not develop a strong sense of acceptable behavior, they will fail at everything that matters in life. Punishment, even from a loving parent, shows them that it isn’t “their” world. They learn self-control, self-discipline. This is the launch pad of their successful integration into the big, bad world.